I hate to admit it, but i like to plan things ahead. To know my schedule somewhat each day. I like interruptions- fun ones! not ones that make me feel all unsettled and weird. Not ones where I must face that i am not in control.
that's where i am today.
My hubby and I are booked for a tropical vacation- leaving in 4 days. or not. You see his boss thinks he's such a swell guy that he should stay at work. or something like that. "No-refund policy" is a hateful phrase to me right now.
So i sit and wait.
So i sit and am reminded that i do not rule the world. (ouch)
So i sit and remember that God does. That as much as this aggravates me, waiting usually does me more good than harm.
It reminds me how impatient I can be.
It reminds me what ugly thoughts i can think - about his boss and his lack of consideration right now.
But what if, just maybe, God has something else in mind?
(like what? you and I both ask...)
that's just the thing... i don't know.
This morning as i was doing a few things around the house, a verse tiptoed into my mind - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding"
ugh. and yet....my understanding is real limited. and this situation does not even involve me directly but is between hubby's boss and him.
So i have a few choices, don't i?
i can chew my nails, mutter under my breath about the boss, the gross unfairness of it all....
or...
I can say" well Lord, this sucks. But you are sovereign and good. Loving and gracious. So i'm going to just do my work today- thanking you for your goodness toward us and just forget the rest for now."
Choice #1 is natural. Takes no effort or anything. It's my easy way out.
But choice #2 is probably healthier for me. The non-ulcer approach.
Just one problem...i can't MAKE myself do #2.
Helpless yet again! Jesus needs to fix my heart on the inside before that choice can become a reality. more trusting, i'm thinkin'...
So i've started to ask Jesus for the attitude that glorifies him. Might i still travel alone in 4 days? yep. But i'm hoping he can transform my heart and my attitude in that time.
After all, i'm going somewhere nice.
Here's to avoiding ulcers, my friends! and to leaning on Jesus like he's all you've got.
cuz he is.
peace!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Spring sneaking in...
I live in such a beautiful, mild area - and should be ashamed of myself for longing for spring as i do. alas, i am not ashamed. I have never known another climate and so, acclimatized as i am (pun intended), I watch the signs of her coming.
I went so far as to poke around in the soil today - looking for the tips of my spring bulbs! Saw one crocus tip and one hyacinth tip.
It's a type of resurrection each spring, when you think of it.
In the fall, we bury dead-looking bulb things. Look like misshapen onions or shallots. Cover them over and nothing happens. For months and months.
But it is in faith that we plant them. It is the promise of spring and new life that inspires us to invest, plant, and wait.
So that dead bulb, absorbs moisture, waits on the call from the earth to burst into life and grow. Surprising and delighting us with it's appearance! Followed by buds and then full blossoms!
what a delight.
But i'm not always very good at the waiting part.
I guess living in a rainforest leaves me expecting spring the minute the sun comes out!! i have to laugh at myself sometimes.
Do i live the rest of my life with that kind of vibrant expectancy? well, sometimes but not really most of the time.
I recall the Lord said he'd return in the clouds- in glory- the same way he ascended while the disciples watched.
Am i a cloud-watcher as much as a bulb watcher?
I'd be MUCH more surprised and delighted to see the Lord come - more than even my precious bulbs returning, i think.
But i've gotten lazy or perhaps think his return won't occur in my lifetime. Have i stopped hoping just because it is taking a while?
Would my life be richer if i stopped once in a while to look the clouds over? Would i be practising my hope? living out my anticipation more fully?
it sure couldn't hurt!!
I think its too easy to live in a way that does not participate with the reality of Scripture. To live 'in the world" and to forget to practise imagining the fulfillment of God's promises.
I mean we live AFTER one of the most magnificent fulfillments of the ages!! Christ arriving as our Messiah - fulfilling tons of prophecies and turning our lives into one grand celebration of salvation!!
We live 'in between' in this age. Looking back with joy, amazement and excitement...and yet looking ahead, joyfully anticipating the coming Lord!
I think i could live with leaving my garden on that day.
I think it's going to be remarkable beyond all imagination that i apply to it now - to keep my hope, faith and joy kindled.
Come, Lord Jesus!
I went so far as to poke around in the soil today - looking for the tips of my spring bulbs! Saw one crocus tip and one hyacinth tip.
It's a type of resurrection each spring, when you think of it.
In the fall, we bury dead-looking bulb things. Look like misshapen onions or shallots. Cover them over and nothing happens. For months and months.
But it is in faith that we plant them. It is the promise of spring and new life that inspires us to invest, plant, and wait.
So that dead bulb, absorbs moisture, waits on the call from the earth to burst into life and grow. Surprising and delighting us with it's appearance! Followed by buds and then full blossoms!
what a delight.
But i'm not always very good at the waiting part.
I guess living in a rainforest leaves me expecting spring the minute the sun comes out!! i have to laugh at myself sometimes.
Do i live the rest of my life with that kind of vibrant expectancy? well, sometimes but not really most of the time.
I recall the Lord said he'd return in the clouds- in glory- the same way he ascended while the disciples watched.
Am i a cloud-watcher as much as a bulb watcher?
I'd be MUCH more surprised and delighted to see the Lord come - more than even my precious bulbs returning, i think.
But i've gotten lazy or perhaps think his return won't occur in my lifetime. Have i stopped hoping just because it is taking a while?
Would my life be richer if i stopped once in a while to look the clouds over? Would i be practising my hope? living out my anticipation more fully?
it sure couldn't hurt!!
I think its too easy to live in a way that does not participate with the reality of Scripture. To live 'in the world" and to forget to practise imagining the fulfillment of God's promises.
I mean we live AFTER one of the most magnificent fulfillments of the ages!! Christ arriving as our Messiah - fulfilling tons of prophecies and turning our lives into one grand celebration of salvation!!
We live 'in between' in this age. Looking back with joy, amazement and excitement...and yet looking ahead, joyfully anticipating the coming Lord!
I think i could live with leaving my garden on that day.
I think it's going to be remarkable beyond all imagination that i apply to it now - to keep my hope, faith and joy kindled.
Come, Lord Jesus!
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