waiting room.....

I hate to admit it, but i like to plan things ahead. To know my schedule somewhat each day. I like interruptions- fun ones! not ones that make me feel all unsettled and weird. Not ones where I must face that i am not in control.
that's where i am today.
My hubby and I are booked for a tropical vacation- leaving in 4 days. or not. You see his boss thinks he's such a swell guy that he should stay at work. or something like that. "No-refund policy" is a hateful phrase to me right now.
So i sit and wait.
So i sit and am reminded that i do not rule the world. (ouch)
So i sit and remember that God does. That as much as this aggravates me, waiting usually does me more good than harm.
It reminds me how impatient I can be.
It reminds me what ugly thoughts i can think - about his boss and his lack of consideration right now.
But what if, just maybe, God has something else in mind?
(like what? you and I both ask...)
that's just the thing... i don't know.
This morning as i was doing a few things around the house, a verse tiptoed into my mind - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding"
ugh. and yet....my understanding is real limited. and this situation does not even involve me directly but is between hubby's boss and him.
So i have a few choices, don't i?
i can chew my nails, mutter under my breath about the boss, the gross unfairness of it all....
or...
I can say" well Lord, this sucks. But you are sovereign and good. Loving and gracious. So i'm going to just do my work today- thanking you for your goodness toward us and just forget the rest for now."
Choice #1 is natural. Takes no effort or anything. It's my easy way out.
But choice #2 is probably healthier for me. The non-ulcer approach.
Just one problem...i can't MAKE myself do #2.
Helpless yet again! Jesus needs to fix my heart on the inside before that choice can become a reality. more trusting, i'm thinkin'...
So i've started to ask Jesus for the attitude that glorifies him. Might i still travel alone in 4 days? yep. But i'm hoping he can transform my heart and my attitude in that time.
After all, i'm going somewhere nice.
Here's to avoiding ulcers, my friends! and to leaning on Jesus like he's all you've got.
cuz he is.
peace!